I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
cat food counts as protein by the way
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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