My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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