thus making me awesome and them whores
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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