Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sobbing to NWA
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
