Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
