I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
