SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
