i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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