i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My dick has a subreddit
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
