I am puke
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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