it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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