Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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