I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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