Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She just used a chaser for red wine.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
