I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
