His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
