my phone needs a breathalizer
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize