so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
