I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
