Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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