it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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