i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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