dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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