I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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