sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
