I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
