They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize