i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
