Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
