so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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