you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
