Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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