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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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