Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
