if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
