Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
