Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
