Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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