I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
