I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
