Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
