Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
