i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
