Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
BRING THE BAGELS
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
