i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
