im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
