well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
