all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I smell stomach acid.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
