somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
