My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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