That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
