lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
