I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
