Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
