I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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