I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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