These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
