More tranny stories later!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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