And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
