Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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