Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm at about main and main street
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
