:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
