I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
His nipple licking is glorious
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