Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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