I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Im part way to drunk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
